As much as my struggles with anxiety/panic disorder/agoraphobia have fucked up my life, they've also made me a hell of a lot stronger as a person.
When I was at one of the worst points in my life, I was living in a state of near-constant fear. I was literally living under my boyfriend's desk. But, in getting through that, I've learned how to keep going when shit gets rough, which is skill I don't think many people our age have.
A lot of the adult-type people in my life have made comments to that effect, and for the longest time I didn't believe them. Even 5 years later, it still feels like I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my life and glue them back together. I don't have a job, or a degree, or any of the other becoming-an-adult things that you're supposed to have at this age. It wasn't until I started to notice that in bad situations I was able to just roll with it a lot more and go "Yes this sucks, but we'll get through it."
That's not to say that I'm perfect at it now. I still don't like doing any of those things like calling people on the phone or having to talk to people I don't know, and I let myself procrastinate and weasel my way out of doing those things way too often still. But I've learned that I can do them, even if I have to inwardly try not to hyperventilate while I'm doing so.
And yeah, a lot of other people can just do a lot of those things easily. But you know what? I am not Other People, and trying to compare my Issues to some sort of nebulous group like that is just an exercise in futility, so I stopped trying. I have so many better things to use my spoons for than to try to become a Socially Acceptable Person and I've had so much less anxiety since I stopped giving a damn if these so-called 'Other People' cared whether or not I met some arbitrary standards of normality. Besides, most other people are nice, I've found, so I actually end up tripping myself up less by not worrying about things because I don't have all that worrying hogging all my processing power. (Computer analogies, woo!)
P.S. I have things to say about your more recent posts too, but I am in pain today and can only type for short amounts of time. I have already spent far more time typing this comment than I should have. Look for other comments on your other posts later. :)
Belated comment is belated.
When I was at one of the worst points in my life, I was living in a state of near-constant fear. I was literally living under my boyfriend's desk. But, in getting through that, I've learned how to keep going when shit gets rough, which is skill I don't think many people our age have.
A lot of the adult-type people in my life have made comments to that effect, and for the longest time I didn't believe them. Even 5 years later, it still feels like I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my life and glue them back together. I don't have a job, or a degree, or any of the other becoming-an-adult things that you're supposed to have at this age. It wasn't until I started to notice that in bad situations I was able to just roll with it a lot more and go "Yes this sucks, but we'll get through it."
That's not to say that I'm perfect at it now. I still don't like doing any of those things like calling people on the phone or having to talk to people I don't know, and I let myself procrastinate and weasel my way out of doing those things way too often still. But I've learned that I can do them, even if I have to inwardly try not to hyperventilate while I'm doing so.
And yeah, a lot of other people can just do a lot of those things easily. But you know what? I am not Other People, and trying to compare my Issues to some sort of nebulous group like that is just an exercise in futility, so I stopped trying. I have so many better things to use my spoons for than to try to become a Socially Acceptable Person and I've had so much less anxiety since I stopped giving a damn if these so-called 'Other People' cared whether or not I met some arbitrary standards of normality. Besides, most other people are nice, I've found, so I actually end up tripping myself up less by not worrying about things because I don't have all that worrying hogging all my processing power. (Computer analogies, woo!)
P.S. I have things to say about your more recent posts too, but I am in pain today and can only type for short amounts of time. I have already spent far more time typing this comment than I should have. Look for other comments on your other posts later. :)